steve's baking attempt

baking is not one of steve's strong points. he can cook, much better than i think the average guy can (not like the stereotypical guy who can only bbq, make KD and toast bread) but baking is not something he dared to try. until recently. one night he all of a sudden got up off the couch, came into the kitchen where i was making muffins and told me that he wanted to make cinnamon buns. i looked at the 9:45 time on the clock, looked back at him and said "now is when you want to attempt to bake for the first time?". he said that he was craving cinnamon buns and just had to have them. i told him that he should go and buy them because baking them this late at night means that they will not be ready for hours. he insisted that HE was going to make them. "well, ok then. good luck. i am not helping because i am already baking and i want to go to bed before midnight" was my reply. so he called his mom, asked some questions and then started mixing together ingredients. his first question to me was "what's yeast?". "are you kidding me? i said i wasn't helping. and how do you not know what yeast is?" i got it out for him and went back to my own baking. my muffins were done within 20 minutes and then i cleared out of the kitchen quickly and left him to his work. he continued to ask me questions, i answered with a slightly frustrated tone (trying to, not so, subtly remind him that i DID NOT want to help! his late night project was not going to be OUR late night project). finally he asked me how he was supposed to "roll the dough on a floured counter". i "patiently" went into the kitchen, showed him how to flour the counter, got out the roiling pin and then watched him pour his 'dough' onto the counter. that's' right. i said "POUR". i was in complete shock.
"that's not dough steve"
"yeah it is"
"no. it's not"
"it smells like dough"
"it doesn't look like dough"
"sure it does"
"nope. it doesn't. it should be a big ball. you should lift it out of the bowl, not pour it out"
"oh."
"how do you expect to roll that? you can't knead it"
(meanwhile he is using his hands to keep the dough on the counter and stop it from dripping down between the counter and stove. it was spreading EVERYWHERE!!!)
"well what did i do wrong?"
"i don't know. i wasn't here. i didn't want to be involved. but this isn't dough. did you put all of the ingredients in?"
"yeah. i think so"
we checked and he had put everything in. he added another cup of flour and it was still super runny (the recipe called for 5-6 cups of flour). he added more flour. still runny. more flour. still runny. he doubled the amount of flour and it was getting better but nowhere close to the consistency of dough. i went to bed. the next morning the "dough" was all sitting in a bowl on the kitchen counter. i guess he couldn't bring himself to throw it all away. (oh and it turns out that the recipe made 5 dozen cinnamon buns. i don't know what he was thinking he was going to do with that many!)