Thursday, February 24, 2011

1 year ago

today marks 1 year from the worst week of my life so far. 1 year ago today i found out that i was having a miscarriage. that week steve was in montreal so my mom accompanied me to many doctor appointments and hospital visits. in so many ways it feels like it all happened yesterday, not a year ago. and yet here i am, 7 months pregnant, anxiously anticipating the arrival of this little boy. God is good! even though i never want to go through another miscarriage and i never wish for anyone to experience that kind of loss, i know that i am stronger for it and steve and i have grown so much. we are a better team, we are closer to God and we just feel 'older', more mature. as i read my post from march 2nd, 2010 (when i shared about my miscarriage) i sit and cry. cry over the loss. cry in fear of it happening again. cry in gratitude that this pregnancy is going SO well. during that week and the weeks that followed i made a playlist on my ipod of songs that helped me through that time. one of those songs i shared in my previous post on march 2nd. the song below i probably listened to the most. it still makes me cry. i remember going to mexico last march and on the flight to san diego i listened to this song over and over and just cried my eyes out. hearing it again today takes me back to that time. i don't want to ever forget that time in my life, nor do i want to dwell on it. i am who i am today partly because of this experience and i am better for it.

watermark - glory baby

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