BIG SECRET...

... it's slightly OCD.

so i have this weird counting obsession. sometimes i feel like it controls me a little bit...which makes me think that it is OCDish. anyone i have ever told about this thinks it's kinda weird...cause it is. and now i am gonna let my readers see a little glimpse of my messed up mind.

i have a favourite number. that number is 12. i have always loved 12. my birthday is on the 12th, and it's in june which is the 6th month of the year which is half of 12. the first letter of my name is L and that is the 12th letter in the alphabet. i remember learning my 12 times table and i can recite them very quickly and i love knowing it. i also like knowing what numbers equal 12. those numbers that mainly stick out in my mind are 3, 4 and 6. those numbers play a BIG part in my counting obsession (but i won't get into that).

i often counted things. i wanted things to equal 12 or be a multiple of 12, but it was manageable until i got a cell phone plan that included texting. i liked to text using ABC (which means that for C you would press the #2 key 3 times, once for A, another time for B and a third time for C). i have that system memorized. you can say a letter and i can tell you immediately how many times i would need to press a certain key in order to get that letter. when i am watching TV, reading or talking with people certain words stick out to me. those words i count according to texting... (weird, i know) let me give you an example:

steve...s=4 t=1 e=2 v=3 e=2

when you add those numbers up they equal 12. yay! this makes for a peaceful lael.

here is where things get complicated...

weird...w =1 e=2 i=3 r=3 d=1

when those numbers are added up they equal 10...this is when weird math comes into place. i want it to equal 12. so what i have to do (this is all in my head) is make it equal 12...i am 2 short. if you divide 10 in half (giving me 2 extras (10+2=12)) you get 5. so what i need to do is add together the ones that equal 5 twice. so i would do this:

w+i+d (1+3+1)= 1 extra point (i now have 11)
e+r (3+3)= 1 extra point (and now i have 12!!!)

i know that this makes NO sense...but it's what i do. here is another example:

CONGRATULATIONS
3+3+2+1+3+1+1+3+1+1+3+3+2+4= 33

so this is when i use multiples of 12. i would now want it to equal 36. i need 3 more points to make it equal 36. there are 15 letters in CONGRATULATIONS so i know i can divide it by 3 and get 5. so i would put CONGR together as one point, ATULA as another and TIONS as the final point. now i have 36.

as i am writing this i am seeing even more how little sense this makes. :S....but regardless this is how my mind works. i REALLY wish i could stop. sometimes when i get really stuck on a word i have to work hard to convince myself to 'let it go'. i often am counting and don't even realize it. it's very much a habit now. one night my brother was over and he would say a word and ask me for the count and i would quickly tell him how much it equalled....he thought i was crazy....and fast. what is also weird about this is what i have had a blackberry for 2 years and i don't even use ABC texting anymore because my keyboard is different than that.

wallpaper dilemma

project time!! yay!! i love projects. i am going to wallpaper the wall behind our headboard in our bedroom and then paint the other three walls. today steve and i went and chose 2 different wallpapers and now i am asking for YOUR opinions. i have a hard time making decisions. here is my dilemma. wallpaper option #1 is safe. it will match many paint colours and it's not bold so it won't be obnoxious. wallpaper option #2 is a bit more bold since it's blue and has more of a shine to the design. less paint colors match that wallpaper and once the wall is wallpapered option #2 would really make the wall be a 'feature' wall. BUT sometimes bold is good...and safe is just safe. AHHHHHH!!!! it's a pretty big wall so i don't want to make the wrong decision.

option #1 - it has a whiteish background with a taupe (?) coloured design

(this is why i need help...haha)

option #2 - light blue background with a goldy/silvery design that is kind of shiny in certain angles

option #1 is on the RIGHT option #2 is on the LEFT

here is the bedding colours currently. i love this bed spread so it will stay but i am ok with having to part with the rust coloured pillows.

please comment here or on facebook and tell me what you think...even if your opinion is that you hate both. also, if you have paint colour thoughts let me know. i am a bit stumped.

summer is coming

summer plans:

this summer is going to be weird. i am not going to camp for the first summer in at least 17 years (wow!) and up until this past week i had basically NO summer plans. i have been rather bummed about doing nothing this summer. now time is filling up a bit more. steve and i are going to go to my grandparent's cottage on San Juan Island for a few days in july. in august we hope to go somewhere....not sure where exactly. as much as our cruise was nice it came at a rough time for us and wasn't very enjoyable. hopefully this vacation will be more relaxing. i am also excited that my friend jen is coming to visit from toronto! it's been 3 years since we have seen each other!! i also want to paint our bedroom and wallpaper one of the walls. and i am going to see THE LION KING. it's gonna be awesome! finally i will finish the summer off with a labour day weekend tip to sun peaks with some girlfriends. i need to stop thinking that my summer is gonna suck and realize that it has TONS of potential to be really, really great!

compliment from a 5 year old?

we were at our niece's 3rd birthday party today when our 5 year old niece approached steve and i and said the following:

"auntie lael, guess what? i took 2 red bocce balls and put them in my shirt on my breasts and they made me look like a lady with big breasts." (she then looked at my chest) "but they weren't as big as yours"


HAHA too cute!

flower markets

los angeles flower market

i love flowers. i kill flowers, but i love them. i recently watched "valentine's day" and really, really wanted to visit that flower market (the los angeles flower market). it got me thinking. do we have a flower market in vancouver? i know there is a bit of one on granville island, but i am thinking more of a HUGE space FILLED with flowers. i want to take pictures, i want to pick and choose stems of different flowers and make my own bouquet. where can i do that? i googled 'vancouver flower market' and found one on S.W. marine drive....anyone been there? is it any good? or do you know of a different flower market??

another etsy purchase: opinions needed!

a year ago my car was broken into and my FAVOURITE bag was stolen. i have missed that bag from the moment i noticed that it was missing. ever since then i have been looking for another messenger bad that lives up to my old one. i found a few possibilities on etsy but i need opinions. please help. :D

#1 this is the victoria by christystudio

#2 modular messenger II by bayanhippo

#3 grey canvas pleated bag also by bayanhippo

#4 grey gerber by ikabags

#5 another great bayanhippo bag, this one is called abanoz i would get this bag in grey, not red because i want it to be neutral

#6 bayanhippo again....modular messenger
and again i would get this is grey

i forgot this one!!!!!! i love the inside fabric

#7 beverly by christystudio

amazing blog

when i had my miscarriage i did a lot of reading online. i read blogs, read forums, read any info i could find online about what i was going through. i wanted to read other people's stories. i wanted to feel like i wasn't alone. i found out very quickly that so, SO many people had gone through what i was going through. some not as bad as my experience, some much, much worse. one blog i stumbled across was a blog by angie smith. i read the story of her daughter audrey. i still think about this precious little's baby's life and her family's journey. i re-read a lot of it today as well as watched an interview they had done for Cross Point Church on youtube. their story is amazing! if you feel like reading a moving blog and have some time then this one is for you. scroll down on the left side of the blog until you see "welcome" on the sidebar and click "click here" to start from the beginning of their story.

great birthday gift

....and it's just that. thanks laurie for bringing more 'awesome' into my life!

memories

i turned 25 yesterday. here are some of my memories from the past 25 years:

• being allergic to wheat and only being allowed to eat rice stuff (this is where my fear of barfing must have begun, since i threw up everytime i had wheat)
• going to grandpa murdoch's house for wednesday lunches where we always had the same thing. grilled cheese dipped in egg (this was after i got my wheat allergy), salt and vinegar potato chips, chocolate milk and a glazed doughnut from middlegate bakery (YUM!)
• staying after school to play piano for my grade 2 teacher Ms. Everett.
• getting a jasmine and aladdin poster and a lion king diary for one of my birthdays
• many, MANY summers spent at morning star bible camp
• AWANA on friday nights
• starting to play the drums in grade 7 band
• HATING the idea of moving from burnaby to langley...and hating my parents for making me move
• starting band and choir in grade 8 and being the only female drummer
• 2 high school trips to europe. so so many memories
• sleepovers with my 2 high school best friends, emma and melissa, in melissa's 'cabin'
• breaking the lamp shade above brandon's pool table
• eye surgery in grade 11
• meeting steve the first day of my grade 12 year at school
• homecoming
• taking steve as my grad date
• graduating from high school
• going to europe with my family
• getting my first car
• nannying alexandra and elizabeth. wishing the days would end but always sad when they did
• working at ABC Country Restaurant as a cook and HATING IT!
• being SO scared to start college
• going to england, wales and scotland with emma
• moving to seattle for 3 months and working at my grandparent's company
• going on a missions trip to ecuador where steve was sick the whole time
• my first ever REAL interview...and it was for the school district
• getting the job as a substitute
• getting engaged
• graduating from college
• my first year at LCS
• buying our first home
• our wedding day
• going to maui and staying in the most amazing hotel
• going on cruises with steve
• meeting new awesome people at LCS
• moving into our townhouse

.....ok this could go on FOREVER!

neighbours

see those windows? those windows with the blinds OPEN?? those are our neighbour's windows. the door you see is the sliding door in my kitchen. i like to have my blinds open during the day on the main floor. the people who used to live in the townhouse behind us used to like to have their blinds CLOSED upstairs. i liked that. i liked knowing that no one was staring in on me. i like being alone when i am alone. i don't like feeling like the neighbours are also in my kitchen when i am, in reality, alone. we have new neighbours now. these people like to have their upstairs window's blinds (which are at the same height as our main floors windows, due to the hill in our complex) open ALL THE TIME!!!!! yesterday i was on my balcony dealing with my dying plants and sweeping the deck and there they were, sitting in the office, sitting in the bedroom. i didn't feel alone. i felt like i was being watched. they probably felt like they were being watched. i took that picture while i was doing some dishes in my kitchen today. you might not be able to see in the picture but there is a man sitting in the right window. there is another man sitting in the left window (but i made sure i blocked him with the blinds because he was facing me and i didn't want him to know that i was taking a picture of them...haha). i don't think i am going to like these new neighbours very much. their main floor is at the same level as our basement. we always have the blinds closed in the basement room because it is our workout room and, honestly, we are rarely down there. then their bedroom floor (top floor) is level with our main floor. our top floor looks at their roof. it actually is kind of a great system because generally speaking during the day people are on their main floor, the floor with the living room and kitchen, which means that you can have your blinds open on the floor you are on and no one has to be looking at one another. but these people have gone and messed with the system!!! why??? WHY??? why mess with a good thing. these people like to spend their daytime hours upstairs. it's gonna be a LOOOOONNNGG and awkward summer.

next year's placement

yesterday i found out my placement at work for the coming school year. it isn't my 'worst case scenario' but it's no where near my ideal position. i am moving up from primary to intermediate. i worked one year in kindergarten, 2 years in grade 1 and this year has been in grade 2. now i am skipping grade 3 and heading for grade 4 and 5. i am not overly excited. the teachers are awesome. the kids seem great (but i don't know them super well yet). it's the curriculum that scares me!! i have one block a week in grade 5 right now and it is during a math block. every time i go to that class i have to very quickly get up to speed on the math. it's been SO long since i have done this stuff and used the vocab that goes along with the different units. ugh. i don't want to do it. how am i supposed to teach struggling kids all this stuff when i don't even know how to do it? haha. this could be a total fail. i think i will be spending my summer brushing up on my grade 4 and 5 curriculum. fun fun!