a pet or no pet? that is the question

some days i feel like i really want a pet. i like cats but i hate when there is hair all over everything including my clothes. also certain cats make me sneeze and have itchy eyes. don't suggest to me that we get a hairless cat because they are super ugly and i think that someone messed with their genetics in order for there to be such a thing as a hairless cat....it doesn't seem natural. i really enjoy dogs, especially puppies. we don't want a large dog in our house because it's a townhouse and it wouldn't be fair to the dog. i am also a generally lazy person. i won't want to take the dog out to go to the bathroom and i won't want to walk the dog everyday (particularly if it's raining or snowy). i hate the smell of wet dog and i don't like bathing dogs. so i don't think they are the right pet for us right now. i don't want anything that needs to be in an aquarium. i don't wast to clean an aquarium. i don't like washing things that are wet (example, i HATE cleaning showers.....the thought makes me want to barf. i also hate going to indoor pools because you have to walk on the wet surface and it just grosses me out big time). so that leaves me with very few pet options. one pet that i often feel like would enjoy is a bird. they are cute, they don't need a ton of care, their cage isn't wet (hehe) and they seem so happy. having said that they sometimes make crazy loud chirps that echo....i don't like that. AHHHHHH what to do. any suggestions? has anyone had a bird and had a good or bad experience? what are the pros and cons?