pre-labour and delivery thoughts

with my due date coming up tomorrow i thought that maybe i should write down some of my thoughts on labour and delivery BEFORE actually going through it so that i can compare how horrible it actually is to how i thought it was going to be. here we go....

i am expecting it to be the worst pain i have ever felt. i have had my share of pain but i don't think that a cracked sternum, a ruptured ovarian cyst, or being thrown into a fence by a horse will even come close to the pain i will be experiencing soon. oh joy!

i am going to get an epidural...or at least that is the plan. judge me all you want. i don't care if you think that i am less of a woman if i get an epidural, or if you think that i am being weak and pathetic. i am getting the epidural. i heard someone recently say "you wouldn't go to the dentist to have a tooth pulled and not get the freezing, so why would you go through birth without an epidural?" exactly! i want to come out the other side with positive feelings about what happened and not be scarred for life.

the pressure. the pressure scares me, not gonna lie. when i watch shows like "one born every minute" and they say "you are going to feel a lot of pressure now", i cringe. pressure is not my friend. hopefully i work with it and relax and don't tense up. that is my goal!!

i worry that i am going to be some kind of lunatic and drive everyone crazy. generally i get really quiet when i am in pain so hopefully that is what i will do this time too. i am super private (despite how it seems on my blog) and i don't want to say anything stupid that i will regret later. this is a big day for us and i don't want to mess it up by being an evil cow. i also really want the hospital staff to like me and not dread coming into my room. another silly goal but i don't want to feel tension between us and the staff.

i will bawl when this baby is born. i can't watch any show where a baby is born and not cry. i know this is largely due to hormones (i never used to cry over babies) but this is also partially because it's been a long and tough journey for us to get to this point and i can't wait to meet this little guy. (2 years next month from when we decided to try and have a family....a long wait but totally worth it.)

steve is going to be AMAZING!! no doubt.

i am guessing that this is going to be a lllloooonnnnggggg labour. my mom was in labour for 27 hours with my older sister so i am going in with the mind set that i too will have to endure a long labour.

this baby is gonna be BIG. the doctor told me that the baby is "average" but i totally think that that is a big guess. i was 9lbs 7ozs and i have been told that baby's weight will take after mommy's birth weight. crap. i am screwed! (oh and i was 5 days early....so yeah. big baby coming our way.)

i am terrified of barfing. barfing has been one of my biggest fears my whole life. so the idea of barfing when transition hits, scares me. i hope to overcome that. (i haven't thrown up since oct. 2004...almost 7 years. hopefully that means that i won't be tossing my cookies.)

c-section. i know that this is a possibility. i am not stupid. i have done my readings. i listened in the labour and delivery class. i know that more first time moms end up with c-sections then second, third or forth time moms. i am really hoping to avoid the whole c-section thing. of course i will say yes to it if i am told that it's an emergency or whatever. lets hope we don't have to go there. i don't like the idea of lying there and knowing that they are cutting through my stomach. i also don't like the thought of the long recovery after. i know that there is only so much i can do, and i will do what i can, and in the end what's meant to happen will happen.

having to leave that hospital with this little tiny (well possibly HUGE) baby is going to be so exciting and frightening. we are going to be responsible for another human being soon and it's gonna be a lot of work. it's gonna test our relationship. it's going to make us cry or freak out in frustration. it's going to force us to grow up. it's going to be perfect!