personality colours

steve did a bunch of personality tests when he was in management at his work. these tests clumped people into 4 main colour categories. orange, blue, green and gold. apparently everyone has one main colour and a secondary colour. steve is a green gold. i am a blue green. here is a brief synopsis of who a person "is" according to the colours.

orange: risk taker, courageous, center of attention, impatient, act then think, leader, my way or the highway, most celebrities and criminals are orange (i found THAT interesting....)

green: introverted, problem solver, organized, logical, hard worker

blue: empathetic, observer, emotional, sensitive, thoughtful, carries the burdens of others, people pleaser

gold: visionary, teamplayer, leader, brings people together

for those of you who know me hopefully you agree that i am indeed primarily a blue. can you guess what colour you would be?

last night steve and i were talking about different people in our lives and how i really struggle to relate to anyone who is a certain way. generally people who are very free with their opinions, who are the center of every conversation (i know i can be this way at times....especially when i am nervous) and who act like they know everything about everything. these are people who i am often hurt by. i build up resentment towards them. i feel extremely uncomfortable around them and usually sit there silently stewing over everything they say.

as steve and i chatted about this i ended up saying that these are people (orange people) who i feel like i know SO well because they are always talking and telling everyone what they think and leading the conversation to topics of their choosing. i get to know them by default. but here was my issue with this....they don't know me at all. i think this is where the hurt and resentment comes in. i can leave these people's presence and feel filled with their thoughts on many topics and yet feel like they didn't take a second to ask me about what i felt. hmmmm...it's selfish, on my part. why do i care? why do i want them to know me? steve shed some light on this for me.

the main attributes of a blue person are empathy and observation. these can be great qualities in a person but they can also be a hindrance. when it comes to relating to orange people, these qualities are just that, a hindrance. i value empathy a lot. i am often observing people and trying to make sure that they are comfortable and that i am not upsetting them and that others aren't either. when i see that someone is hurting i actually physically feel uncomfortable. i want to fix it. tension in a room is something that i feel very intensely and it takes me a long time to relax after a tense situation. because of this i usually feel uncomfortable around orange people. they are louder and sometimes less observant because they are much more carefree (i would actually say that i am about 1% carefree and 99% uptight....not so good. orange people are probably 99% carefree and 1% uptight). now this is the point in my convo with steve when i realized i needed to change my thinking. i told steve that i feel super hurt by these people and often immediately feel like i don't like someone when they show these qualities. he said that i carry the hurt so much and always leave these people's presence feeling sick. I feel like maybe i was too cold to them because i didn't say much and i stress and worry that i hurt them too....etc etc. steve told me that orange people probably don't even know that i am at all hurt because they aren't watching me for those signs....that's not part of their personality. BAM! ok. so i am letting myself be hurt over and over and leaving these situations feeling HORRIBLE and the other person doesn't even realize? why am i agonizing over this? if they don't even care (or simply don't notice) then i really shouldn't either. i kind of got sassy and told steve that i am glad i am blue because at least i am empathetic towards others....ugh, that's not a good perspective is it? he told me that i would probably enjoy life WAY more if i was orange and not blue. i wouldn't take the weight of the world on my shoulders. not sure how to dial down those blue qualities when they get in the way of happiness....something to work on i guess.

25 christmas questions

i saw this on this blog today and thought it would be fun to fill out myself.
here are 25 questions about Christmas
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
gift bags because i have SO many that i have been hoarding and i need to use them. this year we are pretty much only doing gifts for jacob (and he isn't getting much, just some pajamas, 2 little books and a toy....other than the books he needs this stuff because he is growing out of his clothes and his toys). i wrapped the books because i thought it would be fun to see if he can rip the paper.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
i love the smell of a real tree and i love going and picking one out at a tree farm. this year we pulled out our tiny 4' tree that we used in our condo because we weren't allowed real trees and we didn't have room for a big artificial one.

3. When do you put up the tree?

beginning of december usually.
4. When do you take the tree down?
january 1st.

5. Do you like Egg Nog?

no. i love it.
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
that's a toss up between the big doll house and village that came with connecting sidewalks to all of the buildings and you could put the people on the sidewalks and use a magnetic key to make them travel from place to place OR my American Girl doll - samantha. :)

7. Hardest person to buy for?

steve. impossible.
8. Easiest person to buy for?
jacob :)
9. Do you have a nativity scene?
no, but i hope to buy the little people one next year for jacob.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

i really should not be allowed to have an opinion about this because i am TERRIBLE at writing and sending cards of any kind. i do love getting snail mail though. :)
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
i am sure there have been some doozies from my great aunts on my dad's side but i can't think of any right now. i have been pretty blessed.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

elf is probably my favourite. but i also love miracle on 34th street, home alone and national lampoon's christmas vacation.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

usually some time in december but this year i think i was basically finished by dec. 1st...but i hardly bought any gifts this year so it was easy.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

not that i can remember

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas and favorite Christmas dessert?
i have many favourites! i love my mom's turkey and gravy. i also love my aunt cherry's ham that she always accompanies with cooked pineapple (my mouth is watering just thinking about it). for desserts nothing beats my mom's lemon chiffon pie.

16. Lights on the tree?

always.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

i have NO clue! i like almost all christmas music INCLUDING the stuff we sang in choir in high school. those were the days :)

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

i like to be home on christmas day since that is steve's only day off work and then i like to head south on boxing day. we always go to seattle to my mom's family. years ago we used to go to forest grove, oregon every christmas and see my mom's extended family. BEST CHRISTMASES EVER!! we had so much fun and ate so much good food (my aunt ruth is an amazing cook!) and played tons of games.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s?
ON dasher, on dancer, on prancer, on vixen, on comet, on cupid, on donner and blitzen! but do you recall the most famous reindeer of all......RUDOLF the red nosed reindeer....
**i always have to sing the song in order to recite all of their names.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

neither. i put a snowflake on top....which makes no sense if it has to do with the christmas story but whatever.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

this year we are starting a tradition with jacob (even though he won't have a clue what is going on). each christmas eve he will get two gifts, new pajamas and a new book. the rest of the gifts will be opened on christmas morning. (getting new pajamas is partially because he can then wear them to bed that night and have them on in the morning for pictures....yes i am that lame.)
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
driving in the snow.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?

my ornaments are mostly red, silver and 2 shades of blue. i wouldn't say that it is my favourite colour scheme but whatever.
24. Handmade ornaments or store bought?
probably store bought unless someone makes an ornament for me then those are special. i am sure when jacob makes his first ornament it will be my favourite (i do have an ornaments from one of my past students that i hope to have forever).

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
i really haven't given it much thought because steve and i aren't doing presents so there hasn't been a need to think of things. when my mom asked me i had a tough time coming up with stuff and ended up asking for things i need rather than want....like new towels. we need them because the colour is coming out of our towels and the ones we use the most have holes. :(

...retraction??

ever since i published my previous post i have felt slightly stressed. i have been really worried that it might come across like someone said something that pushed me over the edge and made me get so upset that i blogged about it. i guess that is what happened but it's not what you are thinking. you see a couple days ago i read this post (if you follow the link don't be turned off by the title....it's actually VERY thought provoking) which talks a TON about judging others. because my world seems to revolve around jacob right now i tend to talk to a lot of other moms about our kids. i am very fast to either think judgmental thoughts or even say judgmental things. when i read that post it was like a slap in the face....but a good one. it opened my eyes to a lot of areas that i need to work on. that's what got me thinking and made me decide to write the post i wrote earlier. i was coming from a place of disappointment in myself. i know that i am quick to think of how others have hurt me (the whole woe-is-me thing comes pretty naturally) and what i really should be doing is thinking about how I CAN CHANGE. my intention was for that post to show that i want to work on not being judgmental....i am worried that it instead came across like i am just complaining about other people. :(

if you were offended by what i said or thought that i was talking about you or worried that you said something to me that made me feel like this DON'T be-you didn't!! hopefully this clears all of that up.

why do moms hurt moms?

today i have attempted to write a post about my frustration with myself and other moms. i have written that post 3 times and deleted it. i don't know how i can say what i want to say without majorly offending people or making people think that i am talking specifically about them. ugh! then i read this post and thought....perfect! she said it for me! :) she talks about how we are so quick to judge one another...except that instead of feeling judged by non-moms (as she writes in her post) i feel judged by moms. we moms should know better than to impose our opinions on each other. we know how it feels when other moms say things that sound like they can parent YOUR CHILD better than you can. it's ridiculous! i don't care if you have had 10 babies....you don't know MY baby and i am the best mom for him. and you are the best mom for your baby, not me. i know i have been majorly guilty of judging other moms and dumping my opinion on them when i haven't been asked to share it. i know i have hurt, upset, frustrated other moms with my "well-meaning" advice. i didn't want to, but regardless of my motive i did hurt them. i have been hurt, upset, and frustrated by other moms too. i know they meant well but it makes me second guess myself so much....and don't we already second guess ourselves enough?

anyway, if you are interested you should read the post i linked above. i feel like i need to make more of an effort to listen to someone vent instead of jumping to "fix-it" mode. a lot of the time i think we want to fix the problem for other people when really all the person wants is for someone to listen.

baby food exchange

just over a month ago i was contacted by a girl/neighbour who i used to go to church with years ago (i think it was 1998-2000). she was organizing a baby food exchange with a bunch of moms who have babies around the same age. i was SUPER excited because i am all for making my own baby food but also liked the idea of not making all of these different kinds of food on my own. 7 girls said that they were up for it so the food prep began.

the idea was that each person would choose 2 different foods from a list provided and then cook, puree, freeze into cubes and bag it all up. everyone would make 2 ice cube trays (frozen cubes) per person of EACH food. that meant 14 trays of each food, 28 trays in total....hokey pete it was a lot. when we all got together everyone would leave with each kind of food. pretty awesome? i sure think so!! :)

i chose apples and sweet potatoes. doing the apples was A LOT of work! i had to peel, core and chop 20lbs of apples. then i cooked them on low with a little water until they were soft enough to mash. i did 5lbs at a time so it took a while.

steve mashing all the sweet potatoes

once they were mashed up i scooped it into ice cube trays and froze them (i had to do a couple freezing sessions since i didn't have enough trays). next i did the sweet potatoes. i baked them, peeled the skin off (which was surprisingly easy) and then mashed them up. it was super fast!! again, i froze it all into cubes. once i had the stuff frozen i cracked the trays into freezer bags (2 trays of apple into 1 bag and 2 trays of sweet potato into another bag for each person).

today i went to the exchange (one girl decided to opt out so we just divided up her cubes), hung out with the other moms and their adorable kids, had some yummy soup made by our host, cianna, and some dutch thing-which i can't remember the name of but it was AMAZING :), grabbed my bags of food and headed home. other than the 2 foods i made i left with pears, broccoli, butternut squash, peas, quinoa, carrots, yams, more sweet potato, cauliflower, and potatoes. it's so handy because i can pull out some cubes one night from the freezer, put them in the fridge and the next morning jacob's food is all ready for the day. :)