Saturday, January 22, 2011

trying not to think this far ahead....

so i know delivery and whatever is going to not be a fun experience. i try not to think about it too much because i know i will probably panic and over plan (which often makes me more paniky until i feel like i have control of the situation....which i won't ever have control so why over plan?). well today i heard someone talk about delivery (on TV) in a different way,'s got me kinda freaked out. here is what was said (with some words changed to less offensive terms):

B: I wanna hear what kind of pain this is?
C: It's like a massive cramp that takes over your whole body and makes it so you can't move.
B: Why do people want to not do the drugs?
C: I have no idea.
B: I am all for the drugs.
Am I going to crap myself when I give birth?
C: Yes. (said with a big smile)
B: Great. I can't wait. (clearly sarcastic)
C: But the thing that nobody tells you about is afterwards.
B: It's a hot mess down there, right?
C: Yeah.
B: So you're like ice-packing your crotch and breast feeding your baby?
C: And like peeing yourself.
B: And peeing yourself?
C: Yeah, like when you laugh or sneeze. It's fun.

......need i say more?

OH and B stands for bethenny and C is for birth she must really know what she is talking about.


  1. Okay,lets deal with some of this nonsense:

    You won't pee yourself when you laugh or sneeze until you are about 50 and that is only if you never do your Kegal exercises.

    You only need to 'ice pack your crotch' IF you tear or have an episiotomy. It feels great to ice it and you won't mind at me. You will be holding the most beautiful person you've ever seen in your life and so won't care.

    You only poop when you give birth if you don't give yourself an enema, which you can do when you start labor and then don't eat any solids after.

    If you've ever had period cramps, then that is pretty much what labor is like and yes, it does get somewhat more intense but you breath through it and if it gets really bad, ask for laughing gas. You won't laugh, but it helps you relax between contractions. And you CAN move.

    And I know what I am talking about because I gave birth to three kids.

  2. oh sandra you are awesome!! i had nasty cramping when i had my miscarriage...i am assuming it will be like that but intensified. i know it'll be one day, maybe 2 of discomfort and pain and most women do it and get through just fine, so i will too. i just found this take on it amusing....and slightly frightening. :D

  3. lael..your so funny...

    most of the time planning can relieve stress...but its the exact opposite when it comes to labor...i am not saying dont think about it at all...its good to talk about certain things with your midwife..but seriously...everything i ever planned went straight out the window..i have dreamed of a natural delivery my whole life...and now i am getting my third c-section...not ideal..but none of it matters in the end...yes, my recovery is longer...but i also am as good as new down there..(cant say that for many of my friends that delivered naturally)...but then again..i have a big scar that hurts really...its a toss up...clearly God says that we will bring forth children in pain..who are we to think that we dont deserve the curse that God has put in place..its just part of are going to love that baby sooo soo will all be over before you know it...and we will be going on walks together...we are after all neighbors!

    and for the record..i pee my pants when i sneeze..haha..and after c-sections!!! so it must have just been pregnancy that did it to me!

  4. cianna - i often think about how God said it will be painful. i totally expect it to be, and i know it will be 100% worth it all no matter happens!!

    and we totally should take our munchkins on walks together this summer!!

  5. if that was Bethenney from Real Housewives of NY, then it was most likely extra dramatic as those women are... ;D

    i did start having the problem with peeing after my 2nd pregnancy. as Cianna said, its way more about pregnancy. i think Keigel exercises are what help to improve that area. we (women) should be doing Keigels ALWAYS, pregnant, recovering, whenever...a strong pelvic floor is always a good thing.

    as far as being a woman who has never planned on drugs and then for my last, i demanded them but she was out before they had their needles is amazing what proper breathing and positions can do for labour. you do enter a hazy zone and you are just doing everything you can to get thru it. for me, its totally amazing what my body was able to do and the level of pain in a contraction. they are over pretty quick. 60 seconds usually. but obviously there are many of them to get that baby out.

    of course i have friends who had epidurals and swear by them because they could nap between contractions and enjoy the delivery process...but i think you are not allowed to have your baby until your legs are no longer numb.

  6. Lael,

    Just remember... so many women have done it before you and have been okay. You'll do great! Actually, as hard as the delivery was, I found that the few weeks following were even more challenging. The sleepless nights and breastfeeding were tougher on me than childbirth. Plus, I couldn't really sit well because I had an episiotomy (and that stupid surgical sponge inside of me). And was bleeding down there for about a month. But Josh is SO worth it! :) Can't wait for your little boy to come! We'll definitely have to have walks and play dates together.