I have been battling mental illness for a few years now (actually much longer but was diagnosed a few years ago). I struggle with anxiety and depression. Those are both forms of mental illness and even though there tends to be a pretty big stigma around the term "mental illness" I am not ashamed. Most days. Some days I do feel embarrassed that I struggle with this stuff and can't seem to shake it. I don't like needing to take meds every day. I don't like that I can quickly feel if I have missed a dose. I don't like the roller coaster that I have been on for many years. However, this is my life. It is what it is and there are things I can change and things I can't change. Since I can't get rid of my anxiety and depression completely, I choose to get rid of my own stigma. Maybe I will even change a few peoples' stigma's along the way too. ;)
One of the biggest hurtles in my life is sleep. Ohhhhh sleep. I almost hate talking about. I have actually asked Steve to stop asking me every morning, "How was your night?" because I hate my answer every morning. I don't sleep much. I can usually fall asleep quickly but I wake up often and after 2-4 hours I tend to have such a busy mind that I can't sleep any more. I also have a lot of pain (due to having fibromyalgia) which just adds to me sleep issues. I function pretty well on 4 hours of sleep but anything less is really hard on me. Steve does an amazing job of giving me opportunities to nap or sleep in (if I can) when he is home and I am so thankful that I have a husband who understands how important sleep is to me.
Due to my depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia and insomnia I am working on some lifestyle changes in hopes of seeing some improvement in at least one area. But wouldn't it be great if all FOUR improved?!?!
I have 2 awesome friends who work in the fitness industry and have helped me so much with figuring out a good workout routine. They are both super encouraging and check in with me regularly asking how my fitness stuff is going. I am doing 30mins of cardio 3x/week and then weights 3-5x/week. Because I have asthma I need to take the cardio slow until my lungs get used to it (I have also had a setback the last week with my asthma...I must remember to take my inhaler before doing my cardio).
I plan to run a 5km race in May so my main goal is to work up to that- should be totally obtainable. My other goal is to make exercise part of my lifestyle and weekly routine. I can't commit to going to the gym more than 3x a week or I know I won't go. I also know that I can't majorly work on changing my food right now because it's too much too soon. Baby steps. I need my lifestyle to change and that can't happen overnight. I turn 30 in June and I want my 30s to be my best years yet! I want to feel healthier. I want more energy. I want less pain. I want more restful sleep. I want to be happy and less anxious. Notice how I am not saying I want to lose weight or inches. I am not saying I want to look more beautiful. I am trying to care more about my overall health then my appearances. I am refusing to make a certain weight my goal. I know I will be discouraged if I don't see the pounds coming off quickly. Instead of seeing the difference I want to FEEL the difference.
I need accountability because I have always sucked at staying on a fitness routine. Please don't hesitate to check in with me once in a while and ask if I am keeping up with my workouts. (Oh, and I will totally be someone who posts workout photos on instagram. I am proud of myself for even starting this and making this healthy change so I am TOTALLY going to post about it...in fact I already have a few times.)
Also....totally off topic. My amazing brother, Robbie, made a video for me (with the help of my other brother Brad, an amazing editor/photographer, Michelle, and many of my friends and family members) for Christmas. I was completely surprised. I cried. I watched it many more times and cried again and again. It's so special. I believe Robbie made this because of my most recent battle with a low season of depression in the Fall. I will watch this every time I feel like I am alone or feel worthless. Thank you Robbie and everyone else who contributed!!
If you have 13 mins feel free to watch it. :)