september 11th

tomorrow is september 11th. i know everyone immediately thinks about the twin towers etc when they hear that date but this year i will be thinking about how it was my due date for baby #2. i am not really sure how i should be feeling about that. if i should be "over" it, if crying still is pathetic, or if it's perfectly normal. it's just sad to me to think that there should be a baby any day now and there won't be. those 9 months FLEW by!! i can so clearly remember all of the doctor appointments during those first 3 months. we were SO excited. i was worried that 9 months would feel like an eternity, but really it went fast. tomorrow i am going to keep myself busy so that i don't just crawl into a hole all day and cry. God works in mysterious ways i tell ya. we don't get it. we'll probably never get it. there is no point going over and over the 'whys?' in my mind, it just makes me more upset. one day there will be a baby, that we know for sure. steve and i both feel like God has given us peace about that. it's just a matter of timing, His timing. something we have very little control over. we will be parents. the next chapter of our lives will start and this will just be a season in life where we learned lots and grew closer to God, our friends and family.