steve did a bunch of personality tests when he was in management at his work. these tests clumped people into 4 main colour categories. orange, blue, green and gold. apparently everyone has one main colour and a secondary colour. steve is a green gold. i am a blue green. here is a brief synopsis of who a person "is" according to the colours.
orange: risk taker, courageous, center of attention, impatient, act then think, leader, my way or the highway, most celebrities and criminals are orange (i found THAT interesting....)
green: introverted, problem solver, organized, logical, hard worker
blue: empathetic, observer, emotional, sensitive, thoughtful, carries the burdens of others, people pleaser
gold: visionary, teamplayer, leader, brings people together
for those of you who know me hopefully you agree that i am indeed primarily a blue. can you guess what colour you would be?
last night steve and i were talking about different people in our lives and how i really struggle to relate to anyone who is a certain way. generally people who are very free with their opinions, who are the center of every conversation (i know i can be this way at times....especially when i am nervous) and who act like they know everything about everything. these are people who i am often hurt by. i build up resentment towards them. i feel extremely uncomfortable around them and usually sit there silently stewing over everything they say.
as steve and i chatted about this i ended up saying that these are people (orange people) who i feel like i know SO well because they are always talking and telling everyone what they think and leading the conversation to topics of their choosing. i get to know them by default. but here was my issue with this....they don't know me at all. i think this is where the hurt and resentment comes in. i can leave these people's presence and feel filled with their thoughts on many topics and yet feel like they didn't take a second to ask me about what i felt. hmmmm...it's selfish, on my part. why do i care? why do i want them to know me? steve shed some light on this for me.
the main attributes of a blue person are empathy and observation. these can be great qualities in a person but they can also be a hindrance. when it comes to relating to orange people, these qualities are just that, a hindrance. i value empathy a lot. i am often observing people and trying to make sure that they are comfortable and that i am not upsetting them and that others aren't either. when i see that someone is hurting i actually physically feel uncomfortable. i want to fix it. tension in a room is something that i feel very intensely and it takes me a long time to relax after a tense situation. because of this i usually feel uncomfortable around orange people. they are louder and sometimes less observant because they are much more carefree (i would actually say that i am about 1% carefree and 99% uptight....not so good. orange people are probably 99% carefree and 1% uptight). now this is the point in my convo with steve when i realized i needed to change my thinking. i told steve that i feel super hurt by these people and often immediately feel like i don't like someone when they show these qualities. he said that i carry the hurt so much and always leave these people's presence feeling sick. I feel like maybe i was too cold to them because i didn't say much and i stress and worry that i hurt them too....etc etc. steve told me that orange people probably don't even know that i am at all hurt because they aren't watching me for those signs....that's not part of their personality. BAM! ok. so i am letting myself be hurt over and over and leaving these situations feeling HORRIBLE and the other person doesn't even realize? why am i agonizing over this? if they don't even care (or simply don't notice) then i really shouldn't either. i kind of got sassy and told steve that i am glad i am blue because at least i am empathetic towards others....ugh, that's not a good perspective is it? he told me that i would probably enjoy life WAY more if i was orange and not blue. i wouldn't take the weight of the world on my shoulders. not sure how to dial down those blue qualities when they get in the way of happiness....something to work on i guess.